Gina Rae Mitchell

Lady and the Tribe by Brenda Billings Ridgley | $25 GC & Bracelet Giveaway – Excerpt – Spotlight

A book blog tour from Goddess Fish Promotions.

Thank you to the author, publisher, and Marianne & Judy at Goddess Fish for providing me with the information for this tour.

Book Details

Lady and the Tribe by Brenda Billings Ridgley
on 09/08/2021
Format: eBook, Paperback
Pages: 276

Wives, mothers and career women - we have all fallen victim to the silent epidemic that is, literally . . . letting ourselves go. Not the weight-gain, makeup-free, yoga-pants routine. Little by little, we have allowed our preferences, interests, and individuality to slip away until we no longer recognize ourselves outside of our role as wives, mothers, or professionals. Who we are has become what we do.

In the process, our friendships have become the casualty of a “busy life” and lack consistency and depth. We have a gaping hole inside us that longs to be filled. How do we reclaim who we really are and fill this empty space that seemed to appear from nowhere?

The answer lies in our Tribe. Our best friends see us more clearly than we see ourselves and are representations and extensions of our individuality. They are our companions, cheerleaders, and counselors—always in our corner. They are the branches of our tree of life that lift and support us, so we can flourish. Our Tribe is the family with whom we choose to live our life . . . with no strings attached.

Lady and the Tribe is a blueprint for building deep connections. As you read, you’ll be swept away on a journey of friendship as the author shares her own personal stories and those of other women. In the process, you’ll discover how to find, nurture, and deepen friendships and create a Tribe culture that is unique to you.

We can become whole again through the power of connection.

When three or more gather, we are Tribe.

 

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Excerpt from Lady and the Tribe

Awakening

Today, a dichotomy exists between our concurrent hyper-connectedness—the immediate and ongoing ability to check up on faraway friends via social media—and our elevated sense of emotional alienation. Add to that, we as a culture are so focused on career success, financial accomplishments, and family milestones that we often lack the time and energy to connect with others beyond those arenas. Despite being surrounded by people, places, and things, somehow we are left feeling alone. We are not alone because we lack relationships. We are alone because these relationships lack depth, knowledge, and certainty. In his column, “Loneliness is Killing Us,” George Monbiot suggests that, much as we labeled the Stone Age, Iron Age, Space Age, and Information Age, this era will be called “The Age of Loneliness.” 

Almost without noticing, we have distanced ourselves from the people who choose to love us without obligation. These closest personal friendships are ever-present—yet do not demand our time. They are an advocate in our corner, mirroring back to us who we really are. This neglect is not without a price. We must actively seek, grow, and maintain these relationships. If we fail, we won’t just lose a friend—we’ll lose a piece of ourselves.

The wonderful thing is that no matter where you are right now with your relationships, you can exponentially improve your connections by deciding to give them a little more attention and intention.

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Purchase Links for Lady and the Tribe

Amazon     Bookshop/IndieBound 

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I love my Amazon Kindle Unlimited Subscription. So many books, so little time!

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A Guest Post from the Author

Find Your Tribe 

Can I ask you a personal question? How many close friendships do you currently have? When I say “close” I am asking, how many friends (not including family) would come get you in the middle of the night if you needed help? These folks have your back and keep your secrets. These relationships don’t NEED anything from you like your family might. Your relationship with these friends goes beyond the superficial niceties. You have history with these friends and you can be completely real and vulnerable with them. These friends KNOW you. They are your TRIBE.

Traditionally, a tribe is defined as a social division in society consisting of families or communities linked by social, economic, religious, or blood ties. Some tribes have a common culture and dialect, and typically they have a recognized leader. A customary tribe is a face-to-face community, relatively bound by kinship relations, reciprocal exchange, and strong ties to place.

Tribal connections are sacred. The closest of friendships can resemble and have tribe-like attributes. Although not formally bound by responsibility, this group of friends becomes like family and will stick together no matter what. Although people outside this group may not understand how close they are, and their relationships with each other, it doesn’t matter because the members understand it and love each other.

I have found evidence to suggest that having a tribe of 3-5 friends is more than just a luxury. A tribe can help you live a longer, healthier, happier life. Solitude can make you sick. Medically speaking, the feeling of isolation raises levels of stress hormones in the bloodstream and may play a role in firing up chronic inflammation, a risk factor in heart disease, diabetes, and even some forms of cancer. WebMD reports quoting Dr. Douglas Nemeck, chief medical officer for behavioral health at Cigna, who states that it has the same impact on mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, making it even more dangerous than obesity. The problem has reached “epidemic” proportions rivaling the risks posed by tobacco and the nation’s ever-expanding waistline.

Why is loneliness so lethal? As human beings, one of our greatest needs is to be seen, acknowledged, and cared for. We want to belong and be a part of something larger than ourselves. Research is clear. Close friendships are necessary for optimal health and well-being. An article in the New York Times reported that close relationships create positive mental and physical reactions in our body, mind, and heart. Dr. Amir Leving suggests that social connections are the most powerful way for us to regulate our emotional distress, and that proximity to someone you are securely attached to is the most effective way to calm yourself. A longitudinal study of aging found strong social networks lengthen survival among older people.

How deep is your love?

Imagine your “circle” of relationships like a target. You are the inner circle. You first must take care of yourself as we talked about in last month’s issue “You are #1”. The next circle is your tribe – the 3 -5 people that “get” you. They have been around for the good, the bad and the ugly and love you anyway. The next circle is your social community. You connect with these folks at church, community, and social gatherings. You may even meet these acquaintances for coffee or lunch sometimes. I call these folks the “friendlies”. Usually, you have a reason to connect beyond just the pleasure of their company. The last group is your community on a larger scale. You may recognize them and give a friendly hello of acknowledgment and they you. You generally live in the same place or have a characteristic or group like church or school in common with these individuals.

How does family fit into this? Of course, close family relationships are important and add value to you and your health. Your spouse obviously should check a lot of these boxes. You may even have a sibling that socializes within your tribe and that is a bonus! However family does not replace friendship – the family you choose. Friendships that you build and maintain without the structure of responsibility are perhaps the true love story and bond that really completes us. These relationships are truly reciprocal. You get as much or more from them as you give.

At the beginning of this read, I asked you how many close friends you have. In researching for my book Lady and the Tribe, I found the sweet-spot to be that 3-5 tight-knit friendships are optimal for well-being. Knowledge is power and wherever you are right now together we can find and deepen our friendships and create a Tribe of our own. My mission is to help create 1000 new Lady Tribes in 2022. Would you like to join the movement and be added to Lady and the Tribe’s Inner Circle?

I would love to hear from you about how you feel about this topic, I am looking for friendship stories of love and overcoming obstacles to add to my book. Please share with me via email or on my Facebook page.

All my love,

Brenda

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Giveaway!

Brenda Billings Ridgley will be awarding a Cape Diablo wrap bracelet and a $25 Amazon Gift Card (US ONLY) to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Visit more stops on this Goddess Fish tour for extra chances to win!

Full Tour Schedule

November 1: Rogue’s Angels
November 2: Straight From the Library
November 3: Booklover-Sue
November 5: The Reading Addict
November 8: Joanne Guidoccio
November 9: It’s Raining Books
November 10: Wake Up Your Wild Side
November 11: Literary Gold
November 12: All the Ups and Downs
November 15: Westveil Publishing
November 16: Linda Nightingale, Author
November 17: BooksChatter
November 18: The Clog Blog
November 19: Seven Troublesome Sisters
November 22: Welcome to My World of Dreams
November 23: Fabulous and Brunette
November 24: The Avid Reader
November 24: Lisa Haselton’s Reviews and Interviews
November 26: Gina Rae Mitchell
November 26: Long and Short Reviews – guest post & Long and Short Reivews

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Purchase Lady and the Tribe online from a local book store.

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