Item: The Cannibal's Guide to Fasting
Author: Gina

The Cannibal’s Guide to Fasting by Dana Hammer | Excerpt, Humorous Guest Post, & $10 Giveaway

A book blog tour from Goddess Fish Promotions.

Thank you to the author, publisher, and Marianne & Judy at Goddess Fish for providing me with the information for this tour.

Book Details

The Cannibal's Guide to Fasting by Dana Hammer
Published by Cinnabar Moth Publishing LLC on 09/06/2022
Genres: Comedy, Fiction, Horror
Format: eBook, Hardcover
Pages: 321

Igor Fenenko, a former research scientist, is a scary, scary man. Not only is he a massive bodybuilder with a spider tattooed on his face, but he has also been infected with Pestis Manducans — viral cannibalism. Igor tried to resist indulging, but his research specimens smelled so delicious. Who did it hurt, really, to nibble a corpse?

Caught, disgraced, and sent to a ‘rehabilitation’ center, Igor is now forced to live in a government-mandated Containment Center. He spends his days pressing wildflowers, growing blueberries, and doing his best to avoid human meat. More than anything, he wants a cure for the virus that has ruined his life.

Igor’s brother, Karl, is also infected with Pestis. But unlike Igor, he does not live in a Containment Center. He lives down by the river, where he runs a cannibal rights group. At first, the group seems harmless enough, if a bit creepy and overzealous. But when Igor discovers their evil practices, he is forced to intervene.

Aided and opposed by rich eccentrics who have their own agendas, Igor must use brains and muscles to find a cure while fighting the urge to turn brains and muscles into a delicious lunch.

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Excerpt from The Cannibal’s Guide to Fasting

Igor is a huge, scary-looking man. Standing six feet six inches tall, encased in bulges of muscle, he attracts attention everywhere he goes. Ropey veins snake beneath his taut, tanned skin. A spider web sprawls across the left side of his face, a tattoo choice that has not endeared him to potential employers or dates and one that he regrets deeply.

He is not the type of man one can ignore. He is also not the type of man who one confronts about breaking the park’s “no picking wildflowers” policy. He carries an old-fashioned woven basket, which is filled with bluebells, daisies, and a few shy violets he managed to find hiding behind a rotten stump. He picks wildflowers regularly. It is zen as fuck.

There was a time, not so long ago, when he would have mocked such a pursuit. There was a time when he turned up his nose at botanists, botany, and plant-based careers in general. He’d thought of them as glorified gardeners, hobbyists puttering away in the dirt. Those days are long gone now.

Excerpt provided by the author/publisher for use in this post.

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Purchase Links for The Cannibal’s Guide to Fasting

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Guest Post from the author of The Cannibal’s Guide to Fasting

First of all, thank you for reading my guest post. When I was told, I could write about whatever I wanted, I kind of panicked. Without limits, I veer into crazy territory, and you might get a weird-ass blog post about 16th Century Dutch still lives or an anti-hiking rant, and I don’t know you well enough to impose that shit on you.

So instead, I went to the ever-reliable internet for a list of blog post ideas, and I found one that I think will be fun. A TOUR OF MY BOOKSHELF!

My “bookshelf” is mostly digital these days. I used to only read physical books, but it was a problem because my house is only 1400 square feet. That is not enough square feet for all my books. Seriously, I had three bookshelves, the mantle over my fireplace, and several drawers, all completely full.

And when those were full, I just stacked them up in piles around the house. When I had a crawling baby, it became a safety issue, so I had to replace a lot of them with e-books. And since then, I’ve been buying e-books almost exclusively.

I still have two bookshelves and a mantel and drawers full, and I’m not going to exhaust you by listing them all. But here are ten of my favorites.

1)Geek Love, by Katherine Dunn.

This is my favorite book of all time. It is a genius work of art. The fact that I will never create a character as well-imagined as Arturo Binewski will haunt me until I die. It’s about a circus family that breeds their own freak show. It sounds like it would be “shock for shock’s sake” type book, but it’s not. It’s beautiful. You need to read it immediately.

2) Jane Eyre, Bronte.

You all know about this book. You don’t need a recap. And yes, Jane could have done better than her weird boss. But this is still a badass book. There’s a crazy wife in the attic who sets fires. It’s classic for a reason.

3) Hannibal, Thomas Harris

Hell yes! Like most teenage girls, I had an enormous crush on Hannibal Lecter, and I read this book over and over again, imagining running away to Florence and moving into Dr. Fell’s library, where he would play the harpsichord for me, and feed me fancy cheeses. The cannibalism thing would be a drawback to our relationship, but I figured I could get past it, especially with all the fine wine I’d be drinking.

4) How to Cook a Tart, Nina Killham

This book is so much fun! A gourmet chef learns that her husband is cheating on her. Her daughter is starving herself. Her publisher has dropped her. She needs to make a change. I don’t want to give too much away, but this book is hilarious and will make you hungry. It is because of this book that I taught myself how to cook. I wish it had recipes, but it does not. I think the author should have released a companion cookbook. But no one asks me about these things.

5) As Meat Loves Salt, Maria McCann

It’s about a seventeenth-century man who has trouble controlling his violent impulses. It’s dark, sexual, and disturbing. I love a book that takes me into the mind of a bad person and makes me understand him. I cringe every time I reread it, always hoping that maybe this time Jacob will make better choices. He does not. It’s still a great read.

6) The Pirates in an Adventure With Communists, Gideon Defoe

It’s all in the title.

7) Remember Me? Sophie Kinsella

Sophie Kinsella is my go-to writer when I’m having a really rough time and I need something to lighten the mood and take my mind off things. I had the world’s shittiest pregnancy, and I think I read this book like fifteen times during those nine months. It kept me sane-ish.

It’s about a woman who wakes up from a coma and discovers that she has forgotten the last several years of her life. She is now rich and married and posh, but the last thing she remembers is being a poor young woman with bad teeth and a crappy boyfriend. It’s fun.

8) A Clockwork Orange, Burgess

You probably already know about this book. But it’s one of my favorites, and also one that I can see from where I’m sitting.

9) A Confederacy of Dunces, John Kennedy Toole

I will not know peace until I see a movie adaptation of this book with Zack Galifianakis as Ignatius J. Reilly. Except now, Zack is getting older, and will be too old for the part eventually, if he keeps NOT making this fucking movie, which means I will never know peace. I mean, what do I have to do to make this happen? Do I need to start stalking Mr. Galifianakis? Do I need to find his agent and do shady dealings with her? Do I need to contact Satan and offer him stuff?

Every day that passes without a Confederacy of Dunces movie is a wasted day for humanity.

10) The Stand, the Uncut Version, Stephen King

I purchased this book when I was nine years old, in an airport in Norway. It is now in very bad shape and lacks a cover. At the time of purchase, it was one of the only interesting-looking English books available, and my Norwegian wasn’t good enough to read much in that language.

At no point did anyone suggest that a nine-year-old may not be the best audience for this piece. I vividly remember reading the scene where a homeless man is raped by another man with a gun. I was more disturbed by the gun rape than I was about the death of humanity. But the whole “super virus that kills everyone” thing did give me a lot to think about in terms of planning for apocalyptic events. As a result, I was WAY more prepared for cataclysms than other third graders.

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I love my Amazon Kindle Unlimited Subscription. So many books, so little time!

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About Dana Hammer

Dana Hammer is a novelist, screenwriter, and playwright. She has won over forty awards and honors for her writing, a few of which generated income, all of which were deeply appreciated.

She is not a cannibal, but she is the author of A Cannibals Guide to Fasting. Dana is also the author of middle-grade fantasy My Best Friend Athena, inspired by a desire to write something her 9-year-old daughter could read.

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